Reflecting on one year ago...

Please bear with me...this post will be long, but I feel I need to put it out there for a bit of closure on a very difficult and challenging time in our lives.  Some of the pictures are difficult to look at, but they show the life we lived for almost a month...

I will never forget the phone call I received one year ago today. It forever changed our lives. Every parent has to deal with a hurt child at some point in time. This was our time. For those who may not know the whole story, here is a brief version. I won't discuss how it happened because it is irrelevant. What matters is that our baby girl is still with us today.

We had no idea just how seriously Hannah was injured, until we picked her up from school. She was completely lethargic and unresponsive. That night we went to the ER just to make sure everything was okay, but it wasn't. I remember the doctor coming into our room and giving us the results of Hannah's CT scan and telling us that she would be transported by ambulance to Egelston; the scan showed a bruise on her brain. I immediately broke down in tears. This can't happen to my precious 9 month old baby...she's so innocent, it's not fair. This was just the first of many long nights in the hospital.

Hannah was discharged after 4 days of observation at Egleston. I remember Mark and I thinking that it felt too early to go home. Hannah slept the first 48 hours straight and had not returned to her normal self yet. How can they possibly send us home so soon, she has a brain injury! We knew in our gut that it didn't feel right, but we returned home anyway. Hannah even started to improve over the first two days. But by the end of the week she started refusing all foods and liquids and did not have any wet diapers. She would just lay in her bed or in our arms for hours. The slightest movement of her head would leave her crying in pain.

This time we listened to our instincts and returned to the ER at Scottish Rite. Within 45 minutes Hannah was seen by the doctor and had another CT scan. I could never have been prepared for what the doctor told us next. She needed brain surgery, immediately. She was diagnosed with acute post-traumatic hydrocephalus. One of the ventricles in her brain was blocked due to the bruise on her brain which prevented the reapsorption of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF). CSF had been building up for 10 days, placing an immense amount of pressure on her brain. An external shunt was placed in her brain and it remained there for 14 days in order to keep the excess fluid draining and to re-train her brain how to absorb the fluid. When the nuerosurgeon said we saved her life that night, I broke down again. Those words still bring tears to my eyes today.

For weeks, Mark and I spent every night sharing a tiny twin sized bed in Hannah's hospital room. There were days when we never stepped foot outside the room. We spent countless hours standing over her crib trying to keep her happy and occupied. With the drain in place, her head had to remain at a certain level at all times. Not an easy task for an active baby who doesn't understand what is going on. After almost a month, we returned home and returned to normal life. Three months after her discharge, Hannah was cleared by the neurosurgeon and made a 100% recovery.

We were blessed to have MANY friends and family around to support us everyday. There were times when her hospital room was so full of visitors, that it overflowed into the hallway. They brought us food, coffee, books, and most importantly, LOTS of prayers and love. We received emails and cards from people we'd never met, but who had heard Hannah's story.  I will never forget the way you all touched our lives and I will carry it close to my heart forever. We never could have made it through without this support and our faith in God. It was through prayer and God's will that she is with us today. I know He has great plans for her!

Not a day goes by that I don't relive the fear and pain of what happened. But I have finally come to peace with everything and am able to focus on raising our little girl. I will never again take for granted the blessings I've been given.  I learned just how quickly and easily they can be taken away. 

So today and every January 10th we will celebrate our miracle. Hannah was given a second chance and so were we.

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10