I can't win for NOTHIN'

All I can say is that I am so glad this day is almost over! The day started out just like any other normal day. I set up my laptop at the kitchen table and was ready to start working by 7am. I left the house a couple hours later to go to a doctors appointment (more about that below). When I returned home about an hour and a half later, my internet was down. AGAIN! After 30 minutes on the phone with someone in who-knows-where, they said it would be 24 hours before they could fix anything. WTH?!?! (translation for those not up with the crazy acronyms we use these days, that means "what the heck") TOTALLY unacceptable for someone who works at home 3 days a week. So, I hopped in my car and made the commute to the office. Well, Mark FINALLY got everything fixed this evening. The tech support person even hung up on him...how's that for customer service! So I'm updating the blog now because I may not be able to tomorrow.

Okay, now about my foot. A few posts back I mentioned that I was going to start training for a 5k. Well, that is on hold indefinitely. I have injured myself. AGAIN! I had a good first few weeks of running, never any pain while running. But after a 2 mile run I developed severe pain in my left foot. I decided to go see a podiatrist and I'm glad that I did. I have several bone spurs and tendonitis in my achilles and the peroneal tendons (on outside of foot). The injury is pretty bad. The doctor gave me a cortisone shot in my foot...holy cow...OUCH! He also took molds of my feet so that I can have a pair of orthotics made. The hope is that the cortisone, along with the orthotics, lots of ice and heat therapy, and stretching will eventually help me heal. Otherwise, the only other option is surgery. And as far as I'm concerned, that is NOT an option right now. I can't do any physical activity for the next couple weeks. I'm still hoping to run in the race on March 8th, but I don't know if there will be enough time to train. I have learned a really good lesson through this...do not push yourself too hard, even if your body is feeling okay. I knew I wasn't physically conditioned enough to run 2 miles, but I did it anyway.

And now I feel like a complete goober because I committed myself to something that I don't know if I can do. I hate feeling like a failure.

Well, it's time for bed and I'm ready for a new day!

Silly Hannah Claire

Here are a few silly pictures of Hannah from this week.  She's really developing a sense of humor and is constantly cracking me up with her silliness!

I've been having trouble with my foot/achilles again now that I've started running, so I'm trying to ice it once or twice a day.  And of course my little mimic (aka Hannah), insisted on having her own ice pack for her foot.

Hannah pretending to be a pirate and playing little army men!

Hannah is obsessed with all things hot and cold.  Here she is feeling the cold fireplace.

Hannah has realized this past week that she has really been missing out on chicken nuggets.  She pretty much refuses all meats, she always has.  We constantly offer it to her, but she always refuses...until last night.  She ate EIGHT chicken nuggets!  I'm so glad the she tried something new!  You should have seen her belly after eating all that!

Hannah's most recent big accomplishment is understanding the concept of "two".  She knows that she has two feet/eyes/ears, wears two shoes, etc, and can recognize when two items are present.  I'm really amazed at how fast she is learning now and how her vocabulary is increasing!  Yes, I'm a proud mom :)

Thank YOU!

I want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words of support and continued prayers.  I appreciate all the comments, emails, and cards more than you'll ever know. I'm blessed to have you in my life!

Love to all!

Reflecting on one year ago...

Please bear with me...this post will be long, but I feel I need to put it out there for a bit of closure on a very difficult and challenging time in our lives.  Some of the pictures are difficult to look at, but they show the life we lived for almost a month...

I will never forget the phone call I received one year ago today. It forever changed our lives. Every parent has to deal with a hurt child at some point in time. This was our time. For those who may not know the whole story, here is a brief version. I won't discuss how it happened because it is irrelevant. What matters is that our baby girl is still with us today.

We had no idea just how seriously Hannah was injured, until we picked her up from school. She was completely lethargic and unresponsive. That night we went to the ER just to make sure everything was okay, but it wasn't. I remember the doctor coming into our room and giving us the results of Hannah's CT scan and telling us that she would be transported by ambulance to Egelston; the scan showed a bruise on her brain. I immediately broke down in tears. This can't happen to my precious 9 month old baby...she's so innocent, it's not fair. This was just the first of many long nights in the hospital.

Hannah was discharged after 4 days of observation at Egleston. I remember Mark and I thinking that it felt too early to go home. Hannah slept the first 48 hours straight and had not returned to her normal self yet. How can they possibly send us home so soon, she has a brain injury! We knew in our gut that it didn't feel right, but we returned home anyway. Hannah even started to improve over the first two days. But by the end of the week she started refusing all foods and liquids and did not have any wet diapers. She would just lay in her bed or in our arms for hours. The slightest movement of her head would leave her crying in pain.

This time we listened to our instincts and returned to the ER at Scottish Rite. Within 45 minutes Hannah was seen by the doctor and had another CT scan. I could never have been prepared for what the doctor told us next. She needed brain surgery, immediately. She was diagnosed with acute post-traumatic hydrocephalus. One of the ventricles in her brain was blocked due to the bruise on her brain which prevented the reapsorption of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF). CSF had been building up for 10 days, placing an immense amount of pressure on her brain. An external shunt was placed in her brain and it remained there for 14 days in order to keep the excess fluid draining and to re-train her brain how to absorb the fluid. When the nuerosurgeon said we saved her life that night, I broke down again. Those words still bring tears to my eyes today.

For weeks, Mark and I spent every night sharing a tiny twin sized bed in Hannah's hospital room. There were days when we never stepped foot outside the room. We spent countless hours standing over her crib trying to keep her happy and occupied. With the drain in place, her head had to remain at a certain level at all times. Not an easy task for an active baby who doesn't understand what is going on. After almost a month, we returned home and returned to normal life. Three months after her discharge, Hannah was cleared by the neurosurgeon and made a 100% recovery.

We were blessed to have MANY friends and family around to support us everyday. There were times when her hospital room was so full of visitors, that it overflowed into the hallway. They brought us food, coffee, books, and most importantly, LOTS of prayers and love. We received emails and cards from people we'd never met, but who had heard Hannah's story.  I will never forget the way you all touched our lives and I will carry it close to my heart forever. We never could have made it through without this support and our faith in God. It was through prayer and God's will that she is with us today. I know He has great plans for her!

Not a day goes by that I don't relive the fear and pain of what happened. But I have finally come to peace with everything and am able to focus on raising our little girl. I will never again take for granted the blessings I've been given.  I learned just how quickly and easily they can be taken away. 

So today and every January 10th we will celebrate our miracle. Hannah was given a second chance and so were we.

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10

Just an update

Overall, the past couple months with Hannah have presented Mark and I with some of the most trying times for us as parents.  While it doesn't at all compare to what we went through nearly one year ago (look for a special post about that on Saturday!), I really have questioned my parenting skills.  Hannah is a strong-willed child.  She knows what she wants is not easily distracted.  Her response to nearly everything is a resounding "NO!"  I'm convinced that we are now entering the terrible twos stage. 

About a month ago, she started freaking out about taking a bath.  She didn't have any bad experiences or accidents in the bath, but every night is a battle.  She screamed through the entire bath last night, which then had me in tears.  So, tonight I took a bath with her.  And just as I suspected, she LOVED it!  So this showed me that her meltdowns mean one of two things: she's either truly AFRAID of the bath or just plain doesn't want to take one and is letting us know what she really thinks about it. Hopefully I won't be bathing with her for the next 5 years...

I have to remind myself that overall she really is a good child with a kind heart!  She sweetly requested kisses from Daddy before bedtime tonight by pointing repeatedly to her cheeks.  It was so sweet and I know it melted Mark's heart just a bit!  

Hannah will be moving to a new classroom at daycare on Friday.  I hope that she will handle the adjustment okay.  She currently has the sweetest, most wonderful teacher. Hannah loves her so much that she has named all of her baby dolls after Ms. Amy!  She will also be split up from some of her little friends, but I'm sure she'll make new ones, too.

Here are a few pictures:

I'm on the run...LITERALLY!

I know, can you believe it?  Don't fall out of your chair!  I'm going to blog about this because I need each of you (yes, all FIVE of my readers...lol!) to help hold me accountable for my commitment.   I have registered to run my very first 5K on March 8th.  If you read this blog, chances are you know me well enough to know that I am NOT a runner.  I made several attempts during college to become a runner, but failed each time.  Once I overtrained for a sprint triathlon and ended up with tendonitis in my achilles and twice I just lost interest.  I love to exercise, but running is just plain hard.  I prefer an elliptical, stair master, or long walks in my neighborhood (boy do we have some rough hills!).

Thanks to my friend for convincing me to give it one more try!  She just had a baby 2 months ago and is already running again.  I'm 21 months post-baby and really don't have any excuse not to try again.  Along with our friend Lara, we ARE going to do this. Right, girls??

My first two runs are behind me now and each time I ran a mile without stopping. That is HUGE for me and I'm pretty psyched that I was able to do it!  My goal is to run 3-4 times a week, with some cross training and weight training on my "off" days.

Wish me luck!

An adventurous spirit!

Perhaps Hannah thought she would welcome the new year by trying some new foods today...or maybe it was just a good day.  She tried 4 new foods and really enjoyed 3 of them.  I'd like to think that this means she'll be more open to trying new things, but we'll see.  We can now add orange juice, popcorn, and Aunt Mandy's coconut bars to her list of acceptable foods to eat.  She was not a fan of Grammy's corn pudding, but that's okay because it just left more for the rest of us!  She used to scarf down anything and everything we put down in front of her but the past 4-5 months have been a battle.  I hope that she'll get past it this year and return to her old self!

Christmas!

We had a wonderful Christmas with our families!  Mark and I both got new cameras.  I got a Nikon D60 DSLR and Mark got a game/trail camera.  Hannah, of course, got TONS of stuff!  She really did need some new toys, since she hasn't gotten many since her birthday back in April.  And I really wanted to get her some new books (but I was selfishly motivated because I was tired of reading the same ones over and over and over!).

Hannah was very excited to open presents, but was very meticulous in doing so (hmmm...perhaps a trait she got from her mom).  With each piece of wrapping paper she tore off, she insisted on putting it in the trash can before tearing off the next piece.

Hannah LOVED the new smocked dress she got for Christmas.  As soon as she opened it up, she just had to put it on.  She wore it all day long.  Here is a picture of her enjoying her new wagon with her cousins.

She also enjoyed playing Santa Hannah!

We spent lots of time just being silly and hanging out together.

Playing monkey-see, monkey-do!

Playing dress up with Nana's shirt and mommy's boots!

Hannah really enjoyed Nana's carrot cake.  Check out that cute little belly!

And at the end of the day, Hannah can usually be found with a "night-night" and a thumb in her mouth.  It was a big day for her!

We hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends!